During my time abroad I’ve interacted with many people and met all kinds of people from meeting someone in the onsen to forming friendships with my japanese squash teammates. I would like to give insight into my personal experiences aboard and would like to clarify that my experiences will not be everyone’s experience. Moving on I would like to disclose the interactions I’ve had so far. I would feel it’s a lie and untrue if I were to say I had not faced any hardships while abroad; trying to relate to my peers.
I faced discourse with some other program attendees from the debacle about my hair color to words that I say. It was frustrating arguing that my hair is in fact brown and not black just because my hair didn’t match my white counterpart’s hair. Another example is using AAVE with my white peers such as “the itis”, “jawn”, or even “they cool like that”. The reaction to these phrases reminded me that there is still a cultural divide between my white peers and me. And in these instances, I was often corrected or questioned for my choice of phrasing. In these moments, I had to ask myself why I was questioned and corrected for my way of speech while others got away with it. These reactions clarified to me a need to find my group/support system in Japan outside of my program peers.
Some things I would like anyone to take away from this blog and my journey is that don’t fear to explore outside of your norm, hardships can only forge you into a better person; it requires resilience and persistence. Following that is the second point I would like to make which is don’t stress out so much everything will play out in its own timing and just enjoy the present, look forward to the future, and acknowledge the past.
I realized that I wanted a place where I could be myself and express myself authentically without being pushed into the “other/outsider” category. It was difficult for me to come to terms with this reality I was facing, however; through resilience and consulting from family, I was able to make it through the tough times I encountered here.
While I didn’t find that support from inside my program here, I definitely found it via external sources; my interactions with black businesses around Japan, interactions with well-meaning japanese people, and most importantly from within. My interaction with black businesses and black people here has helped remind me of my roots and the genuine connection that I have with black culture. My bonds with my family members supported me throughout the trials and tribulations and recognizing this helped reinforce how OG my foundation is. My interaction with japanese people has been overall positive despite the stares that I have received. My positive experiences started with my japanese program instructors and teachers recognizing my drive to interact in japanese with my japanese squash teammates, our love for squash fueling enthusiastic practices, and off-handed interactions from the onsen to taxis to restaurants all curiosity-driven and positive interactions we’ve had.
I would like to end this off with the point that we all have many sides of ourselves that make us who we are. For me, it goes from my strong roots in black culture to my more hidden nerdier side, to my genuine interest in forming bonds with people around the world. I believe that gaining the ability to interact with all of the shades and colors of myself has grown me and helped to enhance my abroad experience. These instances have helped me to reaffirm and redefine who I am especially being able to experience them with others and on my own. A big growth point for me was experiencing life on my own and gaining further autonomy beyond what I had previously known.
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